How do I deal with feeling like I don't deserve good things?
Identity & Self-Worth
Unworthiness often stems from shame and past experiences; everyone deserves basic happiness and respect simply by being human.
Feeling like you don't deserve good things is a form of deep-seated unworthiness that often stems from childhood experiences, Psychological trauma, or repeated messages that you're not valuable enough to receive love, success, or happiness. This belief might have developed from growing up with critical or neglectful caregivers who made you feel like you had to earn basic care and affection, or from experiencing abuse that made you feel fundamentally flawed or damaged. You might have internalized messages that good things only come to people who are perfect, and since you're aware of your mistakes and flaws, you don't qualify for positive experiences. Sometimes this feeling comes from religious or cultural messages about sin, punishment, or the need to suffer to be worthy of redemption. You might believe that enjoying life or pursuing happiness is selfish, or that you need to atone for past mistakes before you can deserve good treatment. Psychological trauma can create feelings of unworthiness by making you feel dirty, broken, or responsible for bad things that happened to you, even when they were completely outside your control. Major depressive disorder often intensifies feelings of unworthiness by creating a negative filter through which you view yourself and your life. You might dismiss positive experiences as flukes, focus intensely on any evidence that you don't deserve good treatment, or sabotage opportunities because they feel too good to be true. The belief that you don't deserve good things often becomes self-fulfilling because it can cause you to turn down opportunities, settle for less than you deserve, or push away people who treat you well because their kindness feels uncomfortable or unearned. You might also attract people who treat you poorly because that treatment feels familiar and confirms your beliefs about what you deserve. It's important to recognize that worthiness isn't something you earn through perfect behavior or achievements - it's inherent to being human. Every person deserves basic respect, kindness, and the opportunity for happiness simply by virtue of existing. Your past mistakes, current struggles, or perceived flaws don't disqualify you from good experiences. psychological healing feelings of unworthiness often requires professional support to explore their origins and develop self-compassion. Start by treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a friend, and practice accepting good things when they come rather than immediately questioning whether you deserve them.