How do I deal with toxic family members?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Dealing with toxic family members is particularly challenging because society tells us that family should come first, making it hard to set boundaries with people who hurt us. Toxic family dynamics might include emotional manipulation, constant criticism, boundary violations, or using guilt and obligation to control your behavior. You might feel trapped between loyalty to family and protecting your own mental health. The first step is recognizing that being related to someone doesn't give them the right to treat you poorly or make you responsible for managing their emotions. You have the right to set boundaries with family members just as you would with anyone else. This might mean limiting contact, refusing to engage in certain topics of conversation, or ending visits when behavior becomes unacceptable. Gray rock technique can be helpful - become boring and unresponsive to drama, giving minimal reactions to attempts to provoke you. Don't try to change toxic family members or convince them they're wrong - focus your energy on protecting yourself instead. Consider whether certain family events or gatherings are worth attending if they consistently leave you feeling drained or hurt. It's okay to create your own chosen family of friends and supportive people who treat you with respect. Remember that setting boundaries with family often brings guilt, but your mental health and well-being matter just as much as maintaining family relationships.