How do I get over someone who doesn't want me back?
General Mental Health
Getting over someone who doesn't return your feelings is one of the most painful experiences in relationships.
Getting over someone who doesn't return your feelings is one of the most painful experiences in Interpersonal relationship. Unrequited love can feel devastating and can challenge your identity/building-self-worth" class="internal-link">self-esteem, but it's possible to heal and move forward with time and intentional effort.
Accept the reality of the situation rather than holding onto hope that they'll change their mind. While it's natural to want to believe that persistence or time might change their feelings, accepting that they're not interested is the first step toward healing. Continuing to hope often prolongs your pain and prevents you from moving forward.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of what you hoped the relationship could be. Even though you were never together in the way you wanted, you're still experiencing a real loss—the loss of your dreams, hopes, and the future you imagined with this person. This Grief is valid and deserves to be acknowledged.
Limit or eliminate contact with this person, at least temporarily. Continuing to see them, text them, or follow their social media often keeps your feelings alive and makes it harder to heal. If you must maintain contact due to work or social circles, keep interactions brief and professional.
Resist the urge to analyze their behavior for signs that they might be interested. Looking for hidden meanings in their words or actions, or hoping that their kindness indicates romantic interest, often leads to false hope and prolonged suffering. Take their words at face value when they say they're not interested.
Focus on rebuilding your self-esteem and sense of worth. Rejection can make you feel like you're not good enough, but someone not returning your feelings doesn't reflect your value as a person. You are worthy of love, even if this particular person isn't the right match for you.
Engage in activities and Interpersonal relationship that bring you joy and fulfillment. Spend time with supportive friends and family, pursue hobbies and interests that make you feel good about yourself, and consider trying new activities that help you grow and discover new aspects of yourself.
Avoid trying to make them jealous or win them over through grand gestures or changes to yourself. These strategies rarely work and often damage your self-respect. Instead, focus on becoming the best version of yourself for your own sake, not to impress someone else.
Practice self-compassion and avoid harsh self-criticism about your feelings or the situation. Having strong feelings for someone who doesn't return them doesn't make you pathetic or foolish—it makes you human. Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd show a good friend in a similar situation.
Consider what this experience can teach you about yourself and what you want in Interpersonal relationship. Sometimes unrequited love helps us understand our patterns, needs, or areas for personal growth. Use this as an opportunity for self-reflection and development.
Seek professional help if you're struggling to move forward or if these feelings are significantly impacting your daily life. A therapist can help you process your emotions, understand any underlying patterns, and develop healthy coping strategies.
Be patient with the healing process and don't rush yourself to "get over it." Healing from unrequited love takes time, and there's no set timeline for when you should feel better. Allow yourself to heal at your own pace while taking active steps toward moving forward.
Remember that the right person for you will want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. This experience, while painful, is moving you closer to finding someone who will appreciate and return your feelings fully.