How do I know if my childhood was actually traumatic or if I'm overreacting?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Many people struggle with validating their own childhood experiences, especially if their trauma doesn't fit the dramatic narratives often portrayed in media. You might think that because you weren't physically abused or because your parents 'did their best,' your struggles aren't valid. But trauma isn't just about what happened to you—it's also about what didn't happen that should have.  Childhood trauma can include obvious events like abuse or neglect, but it can also involve more subtle experiences like emotional unavailability, chronic criticism, parentification (being forced to act like an adult), or growing up in an unpredictable or chaotic environment. If you consistently felt unsafe, unheard, or like you had to hide parts of yourself to be accepted, these experiences can have lasting impacts on your nervous system and sense of self.  The effects of childhood trauma often show up in adulthood as difficulty trusting others, problems with self-worth, challenges regulating emotions, or feeling like you don't quite fit in anywhere. If you're questioning whether your childhood experiences were traumatic, that questioning itself might be significant. Trust your instincts about your own experience, and remember that trauma is defined by its impact on you, not by how it might look to others. Working with a trauma-informed therapist can help you understand and validate your experiences while developing tools for healing.