How do I know if my therapist is right for me?
Identity & Self-Worth
A good therapeutic fit involves feeling heard, seeing progress, and having trust; it's okay to change therapists if needed.
Determining whether your therapist is right for you involves evaluating both the relationship quality and the effectiveness of your work together. A good therapeutic relationship should feel safe, collaborative, and supportive, even when discussing difficult topics. You should feel heard and understood by your therapist, not judged or dismissed. While Psychotherapy can be challenging and sometimes uncomfortable as you work through difficult issues, you should generally feel respected and valued as a person. Trust is fundamental to effective Psychotherapy. You should feel comfortable sharing personal information and vulnerable feelings with your therapist. If you find yourself consistently holding back important information because you don't trust your therapist's response, this might indicate a poor fit. Similarly, if your therapist seems to judge your choices, minimize your experiences, or make you feel worse about yourself, these are red flags that suggest you might need a different provider. Progress is another important indicator, though it's important to have realistic expectations about timing. Psychotherapy often involves periods of feeling worse before feeling better as you process difficult emotions and experiences. However, over time - typically after several months of consistent work - you should notice some positive changes. This might be increased self-awareness, better coping skills, improved Interpersonal relationship, or progress toward your specific goals. If you've been in Psychotherapy for an extended period without any sense of movement or growth, it might be worth discussing this with your therapist or considering a change. relationship health/improving-communication" class="internal-link">communication" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Communication style matters significantly. Your therapist should explain their approach in ways you can understand and should be willing to answer questions about the therapeutic process. They should remember important details about your life and seem engaged during sessions. If your therapist frequently seems distracted, forgets important information, or doesn't seem to understand your concerns, this might indicate a poor fit. Cultural competence is crucial, especially if you have specific cultural, religious, or identity considerations. Your therapist should demonstrate understanding and respect for your background and experiences. If you feel like you're constantly having to educate your therapist about your identity or if they make assumptions that feel uncomfortable, you might benefit from working with someone who has more relevant experience. Practical considerations also matter. Your therapist should be reliable about scheduling, punctual, and professional in their relationships/improving-communication" class="internal-link">effective communication" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Communication. If logistical issues consistently interfere with your ability to engage in Psychotherapy, this can impact the effectiveness of your work together. Remember that it's completely acceptable to change therapists if the fit isn't right. This doesn't mean you've failed or that Psychotherapy doesn't work for you - it means you're advocating for yourself and seeking the best possible care.