How do I stop feeling guilty about setting boundaries?
Relationships
Boundary guilt is common but misplaced - healthy boundaries protect relationships by preventing resentment and burnout.
Feeling guilty about setting Personal boundaries is incredibly common, especially for people who were raised to believe that saying no is selfish or that they should always put others' needs first. But this guilt management is based on a misunderstanding of what Personal boundaries actually are and do. Personal boundaries aren't walls to keep people out or ways to punish others - they're guidelines that help Interpersonal relationship function better by creating clarity about what you can and cannot do. When you don't have Personal boundaries, you often end up overextending yourself, which leads to resentment, Occupational burnout, and ultimately less ability to help anyone. Healthy Personal boundaries actually improve Interpersonal relationship because they prevent the buildup of anger and exhaustion that comes from constantly sacrificing your own needs. The guilt you feel is often your inner people-pleaser protesting, but remember that you can't pour from an empty cup. Good people will respect your Personal boundaries even if they're initially disappointed. Those who react poorly to reasonable Personal boundaries are showing you that they valued what you did for them more than your well-being. Start with small Personal boundaries to build your identity development/building-confidence" class="internal-link">building confidence, and remind yourself that taking care of your own needs enables you to be more present and helpful to others in the long run.