How do I stop feeling like I need to earn my place everywhere?

Feeling like you need to constantly earn your place in Interpersonal relationship, social groups, workplaces, or even in your own family suggests a deep belief that belonging is conditional and must be continuously proven through performance, usefulness, or perfect behavior. This pattern often develops from early experiences where acceptance felt precarious and dependent on meeting others' expectations or needs. You might have grown up in environments where love was withdrawn when you made mistakes, where you had to be helpful or entertaining to receive attention, or where your place in the family felt threatened by conflict or instability. This creates a persistent Anxiety disorder that you could lose your place if you're not constantly proving your worth through achievement, people-pleasing, or being indispensable to others. The need to earn your place can manifest in many ways: overworking to prove your value at your job, constantly doing favors for friends to maintain their friendship, avoiding conflict to keep Interpersonal relationship stable, or feeling like you need to be perfect to deserve love and acceptance. You might feel anxious in new social situations because you're not sure how to establish your worth, or you might struggle with imposter syndrome because you feel like you don't naturally belong in certain spaces. Sometimes this feeling comes from being part of marginalized groups where you've had to work harder to be accepted or where your belonging has been questioned. Other times it stems from family dynamics where siblings competed for attention or where your place felt uncertain due to divorce, adoption, or other family changes. The exhausting thing about constantly earning your place is that it never feels secure - there's always the fear that you could lose it if you stop performing or if someone better comes along. This prevents you from relaxing into authentic Interpersonal relationship and enjoying genuine belonging. The truth is that healthy Interpersonal relationship and communities offer belonging based on mutual care and respect, not on what you can provide or how perfectly you behave. You deserve to belong simply because you're human, not because you've earned it through constant effort. Practice accepting invitations and opportunities without feeling like you need to prove yourself first, and work on developing Interpersonal relationship where you can be authentic rather than constantly performing.