How do I stop myself from saying hurtful things when I'm angry?

Learning to pause between feeling angry and speaking is one of the most valuable emotional regulation skills you can develop. When anger issues hits, your brain's emotional center (amygdala) hijacks your rational thinking, making you more likely to say things you'll regret. The key is creating space between the feeling and the action. Try the 24-hour rule for important conversations - if you're still upset after a day, then address it. In the moment, use physical techniques like deep breathing, counting to ten, or even leaving the room temporarily. Remember that anger management is information about your needs and Personal boundaries, not a directive to attack. Develop a vocabulary for expressing your underlying needs: 'I feel unheard when...' instead of 'You never listen.' Practice 'I' statements that focus on your experience rather than character attacks. When you do slip up and say something hurtful, take responsibility quickly and specifically. Apologize for the words you used, not for feeling angry. Consider what you were really trying to communicate beneath the harsh words, and find a way to express that need more constructively. If this is a recurring pattern, Psychotherapy can help you understand what's driving the intensity of your reactions.