What if I relapsed and I'm too ashamed to go back to meetings?

Shame after relapse is one of the most dangerous emotions in recovery support because it can keep you from getting the help you need to get back on track. The truth is that relapse is common in recovery support, and most people in meetings have experienced it themselves. You belong in those meetings, especially after a relapse. Understand that shame is different from guilt. Guilt is feeling bad about something you did ("I made a mistake"), while shame is feeling bad about who you are ("I am a failure"). Guilt can motivate positive change, but shame is destructive and often fuels the cycle of addiction. Remember that people in recovery support meetings understand relapse because many have been there themselves. The recovery community is generally welcoming and supportive of people who are struggling, not judgmental. Most people will be proud of you for coming back rather than disappointed that you relapsed. Consider that your experience with relapse might actually help others who are struggling. Sharing honestly about what led to your relapse and what you learned from it can provide valuable insights for others who might be facing similar challenges. Start by attending a meeting where you feel most comfortable, perhaps one where you know some people or where you felt welcomed before. You don't have to share about your relapse immediately if you're not ready, but don't let shame keep you away from the support you need. If you had a sponsor before your relapse, consider calling them. They've likely dealt with sponsees who have relapsed before, and they can provide guidance and support for getting back into recovery. If you're too ashamed to call your previous sponsor, consider finding a new one. Focus on what you can learn from the relapse rather than beating yourself up about it. What triggered it? What warning signs did you miss? What could you do differently next time? This information can actually strengthen your recovery going forward. Remember that recovery is a process, not a perfect straight line. What matters most is your willingness to keep trying and to use the support systems available to you.