Why do I attract people who want to 'fix' me?

Attracting people who want to 'fix' you often reflects a dynamic where you're unconsciously presenting yourself as someone who needs rescuing, or where you're drawn to people who derive their sense of worth from being needed. This pattern can develop if you learned early that being vulnerable or struggling was the way to get attention and care. You might find yourself sharing your problems early in Interpersonal relationship, emphasizing your difficulties, or appearing helpless in areas where you're actually capable. On the flip side, you might be attracted to 'fixer' types because their attention feels like love, even though it's actually a form of control. People who need to fix others often have their own issues with Personal boundaries and identity development/building-self-worth" class="internal-link">self-worth - they feel valuable when they're needed, but they also tend to see you as a project rather than a whole person. This dynamic is problematic because it creates an unequal power balance and prevents authentic intimacy. The 'fixer' gets to feel superior and needed, while you remain in a childlike position that doesn't allow for full adult partnership. To break this pattern, work on presenting yourself as a capable adult who sometimes needs support (like everyone does) rather than someone who needs saving. Develop your own problem-solving skills and sense of agency. Be wary of people who seem more interested in your problems than your strengths, and look for partners who see you as an equal.