Why do I feel guilty for taking care of myself?

Question

Deeper Global · Accepted Answer

Self-care guilt is incredibly common and usually rooted in deep-seated beliefs about worthiness and responsibility. Many people grow up learning that putting others first is virtuous while attending to their own needs is selfish or indulgent. This creates an internal conflict where basic self-care activities like resting, saying no, or spending money on yourself trigger intense guilt. The guilt often intensifies because our culture glorifies self-sacrifice and busyness. You might feel like you don't deserve care unless you've earned it through exhaustion or helping everyone else first. This pattern is especially common in people who grew up in families where their emotional needs weren't prioritized, or where they learned to be the caretaker. The truth is that self-care isn't selfish - it's necessary. You can't pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself actually makes you more available and present for others. Start small by reframing self-care as responsibility rather than indulgence. Notice the guilt when it arises, acknowledge it without judgment, and remind yourself that your needs matter too. Over time, practicing self-care despite the guilt helps rewire these deeply held beliefs about your worth and deservingness.