Why do I feel like I can't be myself around certain people?
Relationships & Divorce
Feeling unable to be authentic often indicates unsafe relationships or environments where your true self isn't accepted or valued.
Feeling like you can't be yourself around certain people is often a sign that those Interpersonal relationship or environments don't feel emotionally safe for authentic expression. This might happen when you're around people who are judgmental, critical, or who have strong reactions to opinions, emotions, or behaviors that differ from their expectations. You might find yourself editing your thoughts, suppressing your personality, or performing a version of yourself that you think will be more acceptable to them. This pattern often develops from past experiences of rejection, criticism, or punishment when you expressed your authentic self. If someone has responded negatively to your real thoughts, feelings, or interests, you might learn to hide those parts of yourself to avoid conflict or rejection. Sometimes this happens in families where certain emotions or perspectives aren't welcome, in workplaces with rigid cultures, or in social groups where conformity is highly valued. The inability to be authentic can also stem from your own insecurities or social Anxiety disorder, making you assume that your real self won't be accepted even when there's no evidence of this. You might project your own self-criticism onto others, believing they'll judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. However, sometimes this feeling accurately reflects Interpersonal relationship where the other person genuinely doesn't accept or appreciate your authentic self. This can happen with people who need you to be a certain way to meet their own emotional needs, or who feel threatened by aspects of your personality that challenge their worldview. Pay attention to whether you feel energized or drained after spending time with different people. Healthy Interpersonal relationship should generally allow you to feel comfortable expressing your thoughts, feelings, and personality without fearful feelings of harsh judgment or rejection. If you consistently feel like you need to hide who you are around someone, it might be worth examining whether that relationship is truly supportive and whether you want to continue investing in it. Consider seeking out Interpersonal relationship and environments where your authentic self is welcomed and valued, as these connections will be much more fulfilling and sustainable.