Why do I feel like I'm pretending to be an adult?
Identity & Self-Worth
Adult imposter syndrome is common; many people feel like they're making it up as they go along because there's no manual for adulthood.
Feeling like you're pretending to be an adult is incredibly common and reflects the reality that there's no clear manual for how to navigate adult responsibilities and decisions. This feeling, sometimes called 'adult imposter syndrome,' often stems from the expectation that adults should feel confident and competent all the time, when in reality, most people are figuring things out as they go along. You might look at other adults and assume they have everything figured out while you're still feeling confused about taxes, Interpersonal relationship, career decisions, or basic life management. The truth is that most adults feel uncertain about many aspects of life and are constantly learning and adapting to new challenges. The transition to Adult is gradual and uneven - you might feel mature and capable in some areas while feeling completely lost in others. This is normal because adult skills are learned through experience, not automatically acquired at a certain age. You might feel like you're playing a role when you're in professional settings, making major purchases, or handling serious responsibilities because these situations still feel new or overwhelming. The feeling can be particularly intense during major life transitions like starting a career, getting married, buying a house, or having children, when you're suddenly expected to make important decisions without feeling fully prepared. Sometimes this feeling stems from comparing your current self to an idealized version of what you think an adult should be - completely self-sufficient, always confident, never making mistakes. This unrealistic standard ignores the fact that personal growth and learning continue throughout life. It's also possible that you're doing better at adulting than you think, but focusing on areas where you feel uncertain rather than acknowledging your competence and personal growth. Remember that feeling uncertain or unprepared doesn't mean you're not a real adult - it means you're human. Most adults are improvising much more than they let on, and asking for help or admitting uncertainty is actually a sign of maturity, not inadequacy.