Why do I feel like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not?
Identity & Self-Worth
Feeling like you're pretending often indicates disconnection from your authentic self; explore your true values and practice expressing them.
The feeling that you're pretending to be someone you're not is a sign that there's a disconnect between your authentic self and the persona you present to the world. This can happen for many reasons: you might have learned to hide parts of yourself to fit in, to please others, or to avoid rejection. You might have taken on roles or identities that don't truly reflect who you are inside. This feeling of inauthenticity can be exhausting and can leave you wondering who you really are underneath all the masks you wear. Start by exploring your authentic self. What are your true values, not the ones you think you should have? What activities make you feel most alive and genuine? What opinions do you hold that you're afraid to express? What aspects of your personality do you hide from others? Journaling, Psychotherapy, or deep conversations with trusted friends can help you reconnect with your authentic self. Practice expressing your true self in small, safe ways. You don't have to completely overhaul your life overnight, but you can start showing more of who you really are in low-risk situations. Share a genuine opinion, pursue a hobby you're passionate about, or simply stop agreeing with things you don't actually agree with. Each small act of authenticity builds your personal identity/building-confidence" class="internal-link">confidence building in being yourself. Examine the costs of pretending. While there might be short-term benefits to presenting a false self (avoiding conflict, gaining approval, fitting in), there are also significant costs. Pretending is exhausting, it prevents genuine connection with others, and it can lead to feelings of emptiness and Major depressive disorder. The Interpersonal relationship you build while pretending aren't based on who you really are, so they can't provide the deep connection and acceptance you crave. Finally, be patient with yourself as you discover and express your authentic self. It takes time to unlearn patterns of hiding and pretending, especially if they've been in place for years. You might not even know who your authentic self is right away, and that's okay. Authenticity is not a destination but a practice - a daily choice to be true to yourself, even when it's uncomfortable or scary.