How do I support someone in recovery without enabling them?

Supporting someone in recovery while avoiding enabling requires understanding the difference between helping and rescuing, which can be challenging when you love someone who's struggling with substance addiction. Enabling involves removing the natural consequences of someone's choices, making it easier for them to continue destructive behaviors without facing the full impact of their actions. Support, on the other hand, involves encouraging their recovery efforts while maintaining healthy Personal boundaries that don't shield them from reality. Set clear Personal boundaries about what you will and won't do. You might offer emotional support and encouragement but refuse to give money, make excuses for their behavior, or clean up messes they create. Avoid rescuing them from the consequences of their choices, such as bailing them out of jail, paying their bills when they've spent money on substances, or calling in sick to their work for them. These actions, while well-intentioned, can prevent them from experiencing the motivation that consequences provide for change. Instead, focus on supporting their recovery efforts. Attend family Psychotherapy sessions if invited, learn about addiction recovery and recovery, and celebrate their milestones and progress. Encourage them to engage with treatment, support groups, or other recovery resources, but don't force or manipulate them into these activities. Express your feelings honestly but avoid threats, ultimatums, or emotional manipulation. You might say 'I love you and I'm worried about you' rather than 'If you don't get sober, I'll leave you.' Take care of your own physical and emotional wellbeing. Consider joining support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon, which are specifically designed for family members and friends of people with addiction. Remember that you cannot control their recovery - you can only control your own responses and choices. Recovery is ultimately their responsibility, and your job is to maintain your own health and Personal boundaries while offering appropriate support.