Why do I need to control everything and everyone around me?

The compulsive need to control everything and everyone around you usually stems from deep Anxiety disorder and a fear responses that if you don't manage every detail, something terrible will happen. This often develops from past experiences where you felt powerless, unsafe, or let down by others. Controlling behavior can be a way of trying to create the safety and predictability that was missing in your past. It might also come from identity/perfectionism-how-to-let-go" class="internal-link">perfectionist tendencies, where you believe that if you can just control all the variables, you can ensure perfect outcomes. The irony is that trying to control everything often creates the very problems you're trying to avoid - it pushes people away, creates conflict, and increases your anxiety disorder disorder when things inevitably don't go according to plan. Start by identifying what you're really afraid of underneath the need to control. Are you afraid of being hurt, disappointed, or abandoned? Once you understand the fear, you can address it more directly. Practice letting go of small things first - let someone else choose the restaurant, or don't reorganize something that's been done differently than you would do it. Work on building tolerance for uncertainty and imperfection. Focus on what you can actually control (your own actions and responses) rather than trying to control external circumstances and other people's behavior.